Does Your Child Have a Sensory Sensitivity? 4 Things Your Child May Be Sensitive To, and How To Help Them

Photo by Keira Burton

Do you feel that your child is very sensitive? And for purposes of this post, I don’t necessarily mean sensitive to emotions. I’m talking more about sensory sensitivity, or a heightened awareness of certain external stimuli. This might look like getting frustrated in loud spaces or not liking the feel of certain clothes on their skin.

If your child is sensitive in this way, they’re not alone. Sensory sensitivity is a super common phenomenon among younger children.

Sensory sensitivities are more common in neurodivergent children, like those with autism or ADHD – although some neurodivergent children don’t have any issues. In addition, these children aren’t the only ones who are sensitive to certain stimuli. It’s estimated that up to 16.5% of the general population lives with some sort of sensory processing challenges – meaning that it’s very normal and common!

In fact, I would say that most children are sensitive to something. For example, they might hear a loud motorcycle zooming by and cover their ears, or not want to touch something because it feels “icky.” It’s completely normal to be sensitive to some things, both for children and adults.

Just because your child is sensitive to certain sensory inputs does not mean that they have a disorder (like sensory processing disorder). Sensory sensitivities vary across individual children. Some children may be sensitive to certain stimuli, while others may not (or might be sensitive to different stimuli). 

There is a point at which these hypersensitivities could fit the bill for a diagnosis and extra support, so it’s important to talk to your child's doctor and/or a mental health provider if you’re concerned. But, in general, if it isn’t impairing their functioning (like their learning at school or their ability to make friends), then it’s probably within the “normal” range.

In today’s blog, I’m going to go over 4 things that you may not have known your child is sensitive to. I’ll also give you some tips you can use to help your child when they’re upset about these things.

Sensory sensitivities your child may have
4 different stimuli that your little one might be sensitive to can include: 

1) Sounds
Most children are sensitive to some sounds, especially those that imply danger. For example, your child might be afraid of the sound of thunder or cover their ears when they hear shouting. 

Think for a moment about when you are watching a horror movie or a tense TV show. When you pay close attention, you’ll notice there are sounds that tell us that danger is coming before we actually see it appear on-screen. Like the music ramping or changing melody or even hearing footsteps. As adults, it’s possible we may have learned to tune this out – but children can pick up on these “scary” sounds a lot easier than we can.

Some of the things you may notice your child do when they are hyper aware of a sound can include suddenly covering their ears, running away, or telling you that they feel scared. They might also ask you to turn the TV off (or turn on the lights) before anything really scary jumps out at them on screen. They might even start having a tantrum.

If you find yourself feeling confused in the moment (because the sounds don’t bother you), take it as a sign that your child is picking up on sounds that imply danger is coming and is probably scared. 

2)Temperature
Temperature is a big one for young children, and you may have noticed that they seem to have a different internal thermometer altogether sometimes. When you feel nice and toasty, they may tell you that they feel cold. Or you might feel chilly on a cloudy day, only for them to tell you that they want to jump in the pool. Strong reactions or insistence to have things their way when it comes to temperature of water, food, etc., can you be an indication they are sensitive.

3)Light
Some children are sensitive to light. This may be light in general – for example, they may become very upset when the lights come on as they’re waking up – or only certain types of lights, such as the flashing lights of a police siren/ambulance.

You might see them squinting or closing their eyes; they might ask you to turn the source of the lights off. If the light source continues to bother them, you may also notice a tantrum.

4)Texture
Many children are also sensitive to textures, whether it’s the texture of their clothes or different foods. Even if they love the taste of the food, they might hate the texture – which can be confusing sometimes for us as adults.

I remember, as a child, I hated a hot cereal called Farina. My Abuela would make it most mornings, with cinnamon and milk (nice and sweet) and while my siblings loved it — I just could not get over the texture! To this day, I can’t bring myself to eat it despite how good it smells. ;)

In the same way, your child might be resistant to certain foods because they’re sensitive to texture, not because they don’t like the taste. And that’s typically not something that they can simply “get over” and for those who are non-verbal, something they can’t even articulate. 

How to help your child with sensory sensitivities

Sensory sensitivities can be so hard to deal with because it often feels like they come out of nowhere. But in reality, it’s likely that your child is giving you signs that they’re uncomfortable or overstimulated way before the meltdown/tantrum happens.

1) Observe and Pay Attention 
Try to observe and listen to what your child is communicating, both verbally and non-verbally, and honor their needs the best you can. This often involves letting go of our own agenda, vision, or – often – need for perfection, and simply meeting our children where they’re at.

I completely understand that this is often easier said than done. Verbally, it’s pretty simple, but you may not pick up right away on the fact that they’re saying these things because of sensory sensitivities. For example, a toddler might say things like, “I don’t like it,” or “Yucky,” or “I don’t want to wear it.” 

These statements confuse us sometimes as parents, especially when it’s about something they’ve done a million times before (for example, if they suddenly tell you they don’t want to wear something that they’ve already worn). But your child may be trying to tell you that they’re overwhelmed with the sensory stimuli.

2) Pay attention to non-verbal cues
Flailing, squirming, or scratching are a few examples of non-verbal cues. You might also notice your child turn away from certain stimuli – for example, covering their ears or closing their eyes. These are all signs that they may be sensitive to something in their environment.

3) Honor what they need
When we do pick up on the fact that our child is sensitive to certain sensory input, it’s important to honor where they’re at – even if we don’t necessarily understand. Here’s an example. My daughter absolutely hates jeans. She always has. The minute that denim texture hits her skin, she flails it off.  

But, I love how jeans look and I love to see her dressed in "cute" jumpers and a jean jacket. And, while I could push my own agenda and "mandate" her to wear the jeans for our family portrait, not only would I be upsetting her, but I’d be signing myself up for hours of tantrums and overall dysregulation for both her and myself.

So...I gave up on jeans and I make sure to tell my relatives not to buy her anything jean material.  For me, it’s worth it.

4) Your Child Is Not Alone

I’ve heard similar stories from the parents I work with and understand that each child is unique and has their own needs.

I recall one mom I spoke with who told me how her son would get really upset every morning when it was time to wake up. Feeling perplexed and annoyed by his intense, angry reaction every morning, she put her observation hat on and figured out that this reaction was set off whenever she turned on the bedroom lights. While her son did request she did not turn on the lights, it was dismissed because she didn't realize how much of a sensitivity it was for him. Once she and her child figured out how to modify the morning routine, mornings became much smoother for the both of them.

Another parent I know uses headphones to help ease her child’s noise sensitivities at large gatherings. Does a pair of big headphones look “cute” with her dress? Absolutely not. Maybe people will even judge or critique. But, the headphones help her child cope better in loud spaces which means the parents can enjoy themselves and not have to sacrifice their fun time and worry about their child being uncomfortable.

Sometimes, being able to put aside our own parenting goals/agendas and simply attuning to what our child’s needs can make the whole parenting experience a lot easier. 

That’s all I got for this month but if you want more insight on how to help your little one, check out my other blogs or join me at one of my online parenting workshops!

On March 20th, I’ll be hosting a virtual workshop on how to help your child with meltdowns and other behaviors. This workshop is specifically designed for parents of children aged 3 to 8 who want to learn how to manage a demanding or bossy child, decrease opposition, and reduce aggression. You can sign up here. 

Hope to see you there! Thanks for reading!

Christine M. Valentín is a Registered Play Therapist™ who helps children 3-8 struggling with managing their emotions, Parents- who want to improve their parenting skills and Adults - who are concerned about an aging parent. As a Latina therapist, with 14  years of private practice experience, Christine loves helping people become a more confident version of themselves and develop better relationships within their family. To read her other blog posts, click here.  

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