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Christine M. Valentín, LCSW, LLC
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2 Key Components to a Healthy Relationship

2/4/2015

 
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Within my therapeutic practice, I often work with individuals who experience anxiety related to problems they are having in their relationship. While some individuals will question whether they should do anything different, others are unsure if they should put in any more effort. In order to help them with their uncertainty, I often encourage them to work on some of the key components I believe are important to having a healthy relationship. 

Communication - Being able to openly and honestly talk with your partner about what is bothering you about the relationship is vital. Without this, you may find yourself not voicing your opinion about what bothers you, which can result in your partner believing everything is fine. The problem with one person believing everything is fine is they will continue engaging in the behavior you may find troublesome thereby increasing the chances of feeling resentment or irritation with your partner. Whether you are worried about your future, your sex life, your differences, etc., it is important to bring up any issues you have so that you can both work on improving the situation and resolving the problem. 

Respect - Having to communicate your feelings about what may be a sensitive issue for you or your partner can be hard to do, especially if one person is hot-tempered and/or very emotional. As a result, it is important to remember to be respectful. Essentially, you want to avoid saying or doing things that you know will upset your significant other. For instance, if your loved one despises when you walk away from an argument, then don't. Or, if he/she hates when you scream then try to speak in a low, calm tone. Showing respect can also be done by refraining from accusatory statements that place all the blame on your partner as it will only cause him/her to become defensive. 

Being in a committed relationship, especially when the honeymoon phase is over, is without a doubt challenging. While I realize the aforementioned suggestions are "easier said than done", it is crucial to understand that with patience and understanding a lot more can be accomplished as opposed to having anger and resentment. 



Do you believe there are other important components to a successful/healthy relationship? If so, please share them below. . 

3 Comments
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Deborah A Telaak, LMHC link
2/12/2013 04:02:52 am

Very good points! I also did a blog yesterday about relationships, it can be found at deborahtelaak.blogspot,com

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Paul Turner
2/9/2015 09:42:18 am

While I am not in a committed relationship at this time, I found the section on "walking away" quite a challenge. Recently, I "walked away" from a woman who suddenly left a conversation we were having to enter into one with another man. This happened in the fitness club we both belong to. The conversation she and I were having was a friendly one, I thought. Perhaps she was testing my "jealousy". I don''t know. But that's the reason I walked away--because I try to avoid jealousy whenever it arises. She and I weren't that close, but we would eye each other from time to time. I just felt, she was more interested in him, so why should I hang around?
I suppose in a situation such as this, it's hard to "communicate" with someone you seem to like, but by my walking away, I hoped she would respect the idea that I'd do that again if she repeated her behavior.

Reply
Christine M. Valentin link
2/17/2015 10:09:52 am

Hi Paul,
Thank you for sharing your situation with us. Just to clarify, by "walking away" I was referring to those individuals who need to take a "time out" in order to prevent a situation from getting more intense and making statements they later can not take back. Thanks again for sharing.

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