Improve my self-esteem. Work on my personal relationship(s). Have more fun with my child(ren. The list can go on and on. Regardless of what is on your Resolution list, it is important to remember there are certain aspects that must hold true in order to increase your chances of success and reduce the likelihood of failing to achieve your goals/desires for this year.
1). It Must Come From You- many of our intentions for change originate from good places but they are not often our own. In many cases, they can be other people's recommendations or beliefs of what we should be doing, what we should look like, how we should be living our life and/or what kinds of relationships we have. And while you may want to pursue such changes, unless you truly have the desire to embark on the journey for yourself, the chances of success can be minimal. Therefore, take some time to reflect on what you feel you have the energy for.
2). You Must Have a Plan - Once you identify what YOU want to work on, you then decide how you want to get there. Devise a plan that is realistic with the pursuit of your goals by sitting down with a pen and paper and answering these questions:
- what do you specifically want to improve? - why do you want to improve?
- how can you make it happen?
Not sure how to make to happen? I personally find inspiration from listening to how professionals and non-professionals are navigating their journey. My favorite go to that fits into my mom life is podcasts. Searching for keywords and looking for episodes in the podcast app can be extremely helpful.
3) You Will Need Perseverance - Any aspiration worth attaining usually takes "blood, sweat and tears." In other words, hard work, dedication and routine are usually required. When you find yourself exhausted, wanting to quit, refer back to your list of reason(s) for pursuing your goal(s) and review your plan of action. Your plan may need to be modified based on what you have learned about what works and what doesn't. Sometimes modifying the plan can help to reinvigorate your motivation.
Overall, time and patience are required to reach your goals. And by time, I mean, time to get a handle on what does and doesn't work for you. And when I say patience, I mean, not being hard on yourself because you couldn't get from point A to Z within a given timeframe.
Good luck on your 2022 ambitions and be sure to leave a comment if you have questions or need resources.
Having low confidence/self-esteem is something many people struggle with, especially in this social media era. Feeling as if you are not good enough, caring too much about what others think, discrediting and/or minimizing compliments you receive are just a few ways low confidence manifests itself. Building your confidence isn't impossible. It does require practice and in some cases, guidance from others. Below are a few tips I often share with my clients to help them build their confidence.
1) Create an Accomplishment List - if you struggle to remember your positive qualities, then it is time to create a list of positive feedback you receive. Whether it is about your grades, your cooking, sense of style, personality, career, etc., listing your current and past accomplishments can help lift your spirits. This list is meant to keep handy. So, when you are feeling unworthy or "down" about yourself, review it and remind yourself how great you are doing.
2) Pay Attention and Interact - nowadays we are so connected and involved with our devices that taking a moment to explore our surroundings is often considered a luxury. If you believe, even for one second, that no one is interested in you, I challenge you to take a moment to disconnect from your device, remove your earbuds and observe your environment. The purpose of this challenge is to get you to take notice of the things around you and the connections that are currently being made (i.e. other people smiling, people saying hello, strangers helping strangers, etc.). Yes, that sounds like something out of a movie, but it is happening. It is through connection with others that we often feel good about ourselves. Have you ever noticed the difference you feel after coming back from hanging out with friends vs. "hanging out" online? If not, start paying attention and add hanging out with family & friends part of this challenge.
3) Increase Positivity, Decrease Negativity - building your confidence takes practice and insight. Knowing what you like and dislike, sticking to your truth regardless of what others may think are key ingredients to building your confidence. Eating well, developing good sleep habits and surrounding yourself with positive people are all crucial to this equation too. People who support who you are and are willing to help support your true self can work wonders. Surrounding yourself with negative people/things, on the other hand, may make you feel like an outcast and/or unworthy; Attributes that can ultimately hinder your confidence and self-esteem. So, minimize how much you surround yourself with negativity and focus on being around things that put a smile on your face.
These three tips are by no means end all, be all of building confidence but they can be a great place to start. The road to building your confidence is not easy and sometimes there are some road blocks, but, it is possible. Good luck!
Christine M. Valentín
Welcome to my blog where I provide tips on learning how to connect with your child and how to feel more in control of your parenting journey.
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